19 July, 2006

Lesson #2- Moustaches

Freddy Mercury had one. Generals in the Civil War had them. Combine the two and you have one rockin' sweet cranial accessory. The moustache. It can sometimes look as if it grows from your nose, or sprouts from the top of your lip. When people shave them, they're upper lips look huge. Often, many people are apprehensive about growing a moustache, and as a facial hair coinnesseur, let me say you shouldn't be. I don't really have much of a reason as to why not, but you should trust an expert.

-Dalí - Narrow, long points bent or curved steeply upward; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids permitted. Dali had one.
-English - Narrow, beginning at the middle of the upper lip the whiskers are very long and pulled to the side, slightly curled; the ends are pointed slightly upward ; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids permitted.
-Fu Manchu - long, downward pointing ends, generally beyond the chin, associated with my dad in the 70s
-Handlebar - bushy, with small upward pointing ends. cannot grip for safety.
-Imperial - whiskers growing from both the upper lip and cheeks, curled upward (distinct from the royale, or impériale)
-Moustachio or mustachio - large luxuriant moustache, with hair sometimes growing down the sides of the mouth. Also known as a Nosebeard.
-Pencil moustache- narrow, thin, closely clipped, outlining the upper lip, with a wide shaven gap between the nose and moustache. Also known as a Mouthbrow.
-Toothbrush - thick, but shaved except for about an inch (2.5 cm) in the center; associated with Adolf Hitler and Charlie Chaplin.
-Walrus - bushy, hanging down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth.


Anonymous said...

I want to steal people's mustaches and glue them all over my body.

Anonymous said...

That's not odd...